i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize