Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
