Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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