Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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