people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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