Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
