By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
