Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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