like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
