We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
