Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
