and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
