I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize