38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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