Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she peed on how many people?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
