Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
