i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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