I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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