Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize