This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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