He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
