forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
