I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Acid is not a monday night drug
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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