Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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