How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Alive.
So much puke
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
