so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
