He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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