Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
