dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
