You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
