Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
