Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
