ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
