sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
These tits shall not be calmed
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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