Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize