There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
