i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
