Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
