Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
