their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
