Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
