Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
