weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
