scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
