Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
