I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I am mentally ready for anal.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
