you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
