i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
