I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
