70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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