I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
