Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
