addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
