I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
