i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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