Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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