you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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