he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
