You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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